LOVE

Just watched the movie just now, called Valentine's Day. Well..that is a good movie! =) Realized that LOVE is not just like or amaze; it's something that you really can't express through only words. There are millions of words to describe it, but none of that can express the real feelings in your heart. One thing I really learnt from this movie is, LOVE is not just about what you like; it's about how important is this person to you till you never wanna live without him/her. LOVE is about accept, accept for not only the good thing, but also the bad thing. Accept whatever it is, the way you are.

I LOVE U.

<3

我爱您！

我，真的没想过过再次跟您谈话，我亲爱的人。

不是因为我已经把你在我心里面擦掉，而是我以为您再也不会出现，与我谈话了。我真的很谢谢您,因为您让我知道，其实您一直都在我身边，一直都在守护着我。也让我知道，其实，我从来都没有失去过您。而您给我的这份爱，是一直都存在，从未熄灭过的。我爱您!

我想，您等了与我对话的机会，也跟我一样，等了很久，对吗？谢谢您，等了那么多年，您都没有放弃过。突然间，好像领悟了一些东西，可使同一时间，又好像有点blurr。我知道，您现在肯定是在一旁看着我，或是读着我写的东西的。我也知道，我们是心连心的，您也肯定知道我在想什么的。

我知道，这对您来说是不公平，走的时候也没机会说清楚。可是，我是明白您的苦楚的。我知道，您是我最值得尊敬的人，而我们，也是您最最最疼爱的人。我想和您说，您的辛苦是没有白费的。虽然我们不能像普通人一样，可是，那份埋藏在心里的爱，我们比谁都大，尤其是您给的那份爱，更是伟大！虽然您叫我别伤心了，要好好照顾自己，可是，对不起啦，我还是很想哭叻！因为我不是说很坚强嘛！又眼浅。可是您不用担心。那些只不过是发泄情绪而以，千万不用管我的，知道吗？=）

其实，我更应该叫您好好地过才对！不需要担心我们了，因为，我很清楚地明白到，我到来这个世界的责任，也算是我的使命吧。我知道，我的责任是要担起您以前为我们遮风挡雨的责任。

今天，听到有关分开了的两父女，父母离婚了，女儿跟妈妈，可是父亲对她好，她却。。。有时候我在想，不管发生什么事都好，需要这样吗？虽然我不知道发生什么事，可是，为什么明明是有父亲又搞得好像没有这样呢？所以，突然领悟到了，命运就是这样。明明有父亲的，又都捞乱骨头似的。而偏偏父慈子孝的，又没得相处。有时候，人总应该看一看自己拥有的人与事物，去珍惜珍惜。不然，错过了，就后悔莫及！很多时候，人类偏偏以为自己看透了，很行了，可是却偏偏被自己的欲望蒙住了眼睛。我不求多，但愿给我快乐和健康的家庭和生活，就够了。人不能那么贪心的。

我相信，我总有一天，能够再遇到您。=）我永远都不会忘记，您是我那么亲的亲人！我也不会忘记，您是那么的疼爱我们，就算到了现在，也是一样！我真的希望，以后我的另一半，可以向您那么的好，那么的慈蔼，那么的疼爱我和家人！=）

我爱您！您是我最尊敬的人了！<3

“心”年？

今天，是我2011年，第一次写的post。可是，不想发生的事，都在今天发生了。很不想再听到任何杂音！世界总是那么吵，几时才可以平息呢。可是想想，到底是世界吵，还是我自己或内心在吵呢?很无语。

今年，将是我踏入社会的一年，我会好好的学习。希望我能找到更好的方向，更好的方法去和“你”相处。

宝贝，我爱你。希望这一年，能过顺利地和你挨过。我没有什么能够回报你对我的爱，毕竟我知道你为我做的事情，包容，都是遥不可及的。唯一能够做的，就是更加爱你，呵护你，去报答你对我的疼惜，爱惜，和珍惜。你所忍受的，你所为我做的，我都会在今天起，把它埋在我的心里，让我永远记得这一切。虽然不知道我们可以挨到几时。可是，我想我不应该放弃，因为对你一直所做的，所努力为我的，都会白费，也会很不公平。幸好，今天我亲爱的人提醒了我，不然，我真的会一直挣扎到很久。我决定了，不管结果怎样，总要先给我回报您，让您成为最幸福的人，给您开心，才是您最想要的。所以，以后您想怎样就怎样吧。我爱你，宝贝。您一定要开心幸福哦~ 我会守护你的。

现在才开头而已，已经有这么多的东西发生，我看，这才是 Appetizer 而已呢~ 好吧！下一个要迎接的就是你了，Main Course，来吧！

希望一切都能顺利渡过！平安，健康，开心，快乐！愿天下所有人都能得到最幸福的快乐！=)

不再自由了

以前，总是疯疯癫癫的我，终于，来到了这种挣扎到不行的地步。

最近很多人问我，“你到底怎么了？”，或是亲人疼惜地骂我，“你到了这个时候，为什么还不振作起来！你已经够成熟了！你知道你的生活很颠倒吗？想要自由也不是让自己这样的！”

其实，很感谢她的督促，很感谢她骂着来关怀。可是，在我心里面所面对的，所受到的，就是无法去发泄！每当想起我总是一个人时，我就会很无奈，很伤心。感觉上很多我的亲友们都不在我身边，不然，就是在我身边，是心却不了解我。

最近所承受的压力，可说是到了顶点! 开始很多时候，都会想念爸爸~ 想念以前时常等爸爸放工，帮他扛东西。就算个子很小，也会 kepoh 的去帮忙爸爸。可是，现在的我，感觉很想很孤单。没有一个可以令我很轻松的说完我心里感受的亲人。就算是心爱的人，也无法完全的诉说。心想大家会怎样看你啊~

对！我就是那么脆弱！

我的心灵建设，从以前就很强！不知道了何时，被某人某事打破了！从那开始，我的灵魂就像少了宝贵的心灵鼓励。

最近很多时候，都想歪了，心想不如就自我了断吧~ 可是，我就是不行，我知道前方等着我去迎接，有人等着我的帮忙与照顾！所以，就算肉体没事，现在也只是剩下个外壳，没有心灵的存在。

这是忧郁症吗？

感觉对不起很多人似的。尤其是担心我的人，他们看到我，又不知道发生了什么事，知道的，又不知道要怎样帮我，帮我的，又辛苦！感觉我还未醒来！

真的对不起，尤其是那些老师，还有和我同组的。真的很惭愧！

每天，没事做时，就想哭。哭的时候，又感觉孤单。似乎每一天，我就是这样无奈，秃废!

最想念的那个人，一个又肯定见不到。另外一个，想见又见不到！每天都只能活在没有灵魂的躯体之下，真的很痛苦。

其实，我最想就是做个平平凡凡的女孩子，拥有一个健康快乐的小康之家，和疼爱我的家人朋友们还有我最心爱的人在一起，就够了。难道，天从人愿，就那么难吗？

简单，就是我想要的生活。

最近，看了一套日本戏，叫 HACHIKO ， 真的很感动，也很好看！ 突然，有点同病相怜的感觉。看不开，就是看不开；执着，就是执着。

I..really don't know what to put for my title, but one thing I know now, is...I can't cover any of the sadness in my heart.

My family...they should know..I;m feeling extreme sad now. Even you wana ground me, I'll just accept whatever it comes. But...NOT NOW!

I just want a happy ending with him before he leaves. Why am I not able to do that? I'm going to 21!!! That seems like meaningless to me. I'm feeling useless, helpless and speechless.

I just wana do something that I like. I can even just skip my 21st Birthday celebration. But plz...don't make me feel this way..it's so meaningless to me!

Sometimes, I wish I could fly...fly away to a place where I can find my happiness..escape from this situation which has tighten me for years...! I'm fear, lack of courage. But, this time, I WON'T GIVE IN!!!

Today..I just can't stop my tears from droping down. I just can't keep the sadness from affecting my mind. Thinking of what my family has told, that makes me not willing to let him go away from me today. I'm happy for his achievement, but I know, after he came back, we'll hardly meet each other then. I'm just feeling sad once I think abt this and I just wana cry.....cry so badly...........

Hard Rock

Well~ hard rock hotel is a good place for training though. I really like it and I felt good when the 1st day I join HRH.

Hmm..Already stay in Penang for about one and a half months. Everything from smooth going to upside-down and from there going smooth again. As for me, I'm learning to be independent and trying to solve it all. Although things will not go according to what my heart's thinking, but still, I believe what my fren told me. As Buddha said, "the more problems we met in life, solve it with our courages and wisdoms, the better we are; the higher we can achieve."

Well~ I'm learning about it now. Not that I dunno, but sometimes it's hard to take action or to do the right things or make decision in our lives.

I'm not that happy now, but...I dun feel sad either. However, one thing I really gotta change is my EQ! Damn low! haha! XP

But anyway, at least I realize it and trying my best to change now. Hmm..I really miss my frens from H10, my Maluri frens also. Especially those who're always by my side and encourage me one. Like, LiChing, YeeWon, PuiSan, Jeccy and MengYoei.

Well...the most important one is still my family. My mommy and sister, Kar Kar. Really LOVE THEM so much! Coz' no matter how, when, what, when the moment i'm with you, I feel good and comfortable. Both of u are my source of strength and energy to fight for the future.

Lastly, my cousin, Erica and Uncle Ken, I really wanna say million thanks to both of u, otherwise I wouldn't know or couldn't even predict how my life would be now. I'm here praying for both of u. I LOVE U. Minli and MinSan also, my good-listener and always accompany me whenever I have problems. Brian, the one who always fight with me or kacau me one, but always help each other whenever we've problems. :)

Dunno y le..suddenly feel so alone after I came to Penang. Feel like am All Alone! Hoping that they would call and ask abt me. But.....I think am the one who always make calls one. >.< Nvm...it's time to learn independent! :)

Intern in Penang

Haha. Feel so happy that I got to go for my industrial training with friends. It's really fun. That's way better than the first training during my diploma. :)

Anyway, I MISS U, MY PIGGY PRINCE. I HOPE U'RE HERE WITH ME NOW. But anyway, that's ok. :) it's time to be independent. I'll listen to u and be happy. I'll come back with pride. *.*
Hehe...

Well, I reached Penang on Saturday together with Chee Kong (the hard-working driver..Xin Ku Ni le...), and Yeet Mei, my current roommate (the sha da jie~).

After that, we met up with yew leong and his fren, wei wei. haha. then, we straight went to the condo to meet the agent. Well, we was late for an hour due to the thaipussam plus, we went to tesco and that caused us late. XP haha.

Hmm..I was pretty happy that they like the place so much as that proved that my effort is not a waste. :) Hehe.

Raymond and Fann arrived on Sunday and then we went to the beach and have fun! haha. Well..it's really really fun!! :) Took some pictures while playing on the beach also. Very enjoy and fun. :D Gonna post it here.

However, when the moment we walked in the beach at Golden Sand Hotel, so many ppl came towards us and sell their "product"(the sea games). Haha. They providing horse-riding too. LOVE IT! :D hehe. Gonna try it out. But..I need to wait for someone important to come 1st. ;)

Anyway, I wish you\re here reading my blog, my honey darling. Gonna post a picture here and hope you can feel my love towards u. Coz I really miss u oo... ;D

Hmm..I hope my frens are reading this also and check out how fine I am now and I really appreciate the frens whom staying together now. ^^

At the Beach~ Nice Shoot by Yeet Mei. :)

David, Ashton, Yeet Mei and I.

*Peace*

On the way to breakfast and the food is really nice and cheap here le. Thanks to Wei Ge Ge. ;)

Haha..Our messy Room. XP

*Dedicated to my Piggy Prince* :)

Guess what am i doing. :D

*DENG DENG DENG DENG!!!*
*I LOVE U, WEN HAO* :) Muarks!

The Beach Boy fm India. ;)
(Kept promoting package to us le~~ haha)

(Enjoy life at Penang Home)

*The End*